Exploring the Window of Tolerance
What is the window of tolerance?
The idea of “window of tolerance” was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel and describes the nervous system’s ebb and flow when responding to stressors and other life events. As kids, we develop the foundation for these responses. With consistent, supportive and nurturing caregivers children are shown the tools, through early co-regulatory experiences, to eventually be able to regulate on our own.
It’s normal and natural for us to experience a wide range of emotions, from happiness to anger, sadness and worry, fear and the other infinite number of subtle feelings. These can bring us close to the boundaries of our window, but generally speaking, we’re able to utilize coping strategies that ultimately keep us within our window and regulated.
What in the world is emotion regulation?
The American Psychological Association (APA) says that emotion regulation is the ability of an individual to modulate an emotion or set of emotions. This can happen on the front end of a feeling (antecedent-focused) or on the back end (response-focused).
This is just a really fancy way of saying that we can identify what we’re feeling, then work to bring ourselves back to a state of “okayness,” or back to baseline.
We’re generally better able to regulate our emotions as we get older; however, if we’ve experienced stressful life events, or traumas, that ability may be hindered.
HOWEVER!
When we’ve experienced stressful life events and trauma (like we mentioned above), our ability to regulate our emotions becomes more difficult. “Minor” irritants become major, our reactions are larger and it’s more difficult to access our skills. Our window of tolerance also shrinks, making it much easier to get dysregulated and fall into a hyperaroused (“stuck on”) or hypoaroused (“stuck off”) state.
It’s also super common for people to experience both ends of the spectrum. Our brains and bodies cannot tolerate states of hyper or hypoarousal indefinitely, so you may feel like the “bottom drops out” after long periods of anxiety. Or, on the flip side, that you go into hyperdrive after feeling lethargic and “down.” In these instances, since the window of tolerance is smaller, it’s much easier to speed through a regulation and into the opposing arousal state.
What can I do to widen my window?
Learn your patterns!
When we take the time to learn our patterns of reaction, we can gain a greater understanding of ways to regulate them.
Track your triggers!
Triggers can be both external (sounds, sights, smells) or internal (heart racing, muscle tension, thoughts).
Triggers can also be predictable (for example: happens at night, when I talk to my parents) or spontaneous.
Make note when you feel overwhelmed emotionally, jot it down, even if it’s after the fact.
Learn your patterns!
This help change spontaneous triggers into ones that are more predictable.
When we better understand our patterns, we’re more capable of integrating coping skills when we need them the most, and using them over time helps train our brain to react differently (pretty cool, right?!).
Practice coping skills OUTSIDE of a moment!
It’s all well and good to know what helps us cope when we’re overwhelmed, but it’s SUPER difficult to recall and use them when we’re triggered.
Not sure what works for you? Below are some ideas for coping strategies…
Down Regulating Strategies
for when you’re in a hyperaroused/activated state
Using a heavy or weighted blanket.
Taking a warm shower.
Being outside.
Listening to music.
Up Regulating Strategies
for when you’re in a hypoaroused state
Jumping jacks.
Dancing (a personal fave)!
Listening to music.
Drinking a super cold glass of water.
Being outside.
Anything that stimulates the senses!
Did you notice that some of the strategies overlap?
Yes! and why, might you ask? Because every body is different. Take dancing, for example, it may be my favorite way to get the blood flowing and find energy, but it may completely zen you out. The trick is, finding the fun in exploring strategies and how they settle for you. Once you start to notice that, then you can build your coping skills toolbox (sorry for the cheesy line) and can access what you need when you need it.
What did we learn about the window of tolerance?
We’ve learned that everyone, yes everyone, has a window of tolerance. There are lots of factors that impact our ability to remain regulated in the face of stress, including our upbringing, stressful life events and daily experiences.
But, FEAR NOT! With time, practice, and the support of those around us, we can work to become more regulated (and hopefully content) humans.
